My mother hates the autumn. Life, to her is represented in the green lushness of the spring and summer. The changing and the soon falling leaves, to her only represent an end.....death.....not so with me...or not exactly, and not without joy, or at least anticipation.
The autumn is a beautiful change....a brief interlude between the hot sticky summer, and the wet cold stark winter....It's my favorite season, albiet brief. I need it. I need the respit...and time to adjust, and prepare for the coming cold. I revel in the glory of the colors....the cool breezes...the smell of burning leaves....The energy.
I guess, at 53, this is my autumn...perhaps in some ways, this is my favorite time of my life. I'm more colorful than I use to be......less conservative in speech, tending to speak my mind more than I use to. Maybe it's the knowledge that my leaves, though bright now, will soon be falling....leaving me perhaps a bit naked.....vulnerable....and closer to my own ending....
But there is always the fire in this season....the burning of the old and no longer needed...a certain freeing from the past....a preparation for the transformation to come....the wait.....Don't misunderstand me...this is not sad for me....I am not so evolved that I am fearless....but evolved enough to know it awaits non the less, and to not prepare is rather foolish....just as wildlife prepares for the long winter...so must we all.....
I just read a fantastic writing by Maximus called, a letter from vietnam, and I’ve got that sting of tears….beautiful Max…..
Let me tell you why this is special to me….... William Emmett Barritt, Bill, was my husband’s father… Bill was a preacher. He was a son of a real life cowboy. He was the brother of two rowdy men. He played guitar and sang. He was a young father. He was a soldier, a gunner on a helicopter. He would sing and play, the guitar, for the younger (!!!! he was 24 when he died) boys when they were scared, over there with the heat, and the rain, and noise, the horror and the screams…..he would play songs of faith, and love, and peace, home, family …..... Bill made it through his first tour, and re enlisted. He didn’t make it home this time. His helicopter went down and caught on fire…..he made it out unhurt…..but he had buddies back inside the burning helicopter…....and he went back in…......and got badly burned…....he died from infection and complication of his wounds….. Several of the men who served with him, remember him still. Several have contacted my husband and relayed stories that Christopher will always treasure….
Judi Taylor That is beautiful, Ginger … This is a lovely memorial. Add your comment as a reply to Judi Taylor
Ginger Barritt replied Hi, Judi! Thank you, Sweetie….I’ve got to see what you’ve been up to…..
Troy W. Smith What an aweful way to die. But he died doing what most of us would do if in the same situation. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Ginger Barritt replied You know what Troy….I think this is what is so right with most humans. You’re right….most people, would do whatever they could for their friends and family. It’s just not often we hear the stories of the good side of people.
bev langby wow what a hero and there are many that we dont hear about, so thanks for sharing Bills with us …..........
Ginger Barritt replied Thank you again, Bev….LOL…I think I’m through writing for tonight!!!! Add your comment as a reply to Ginger Barritt
Christopher Bi... i can really feel the admiration through this piece, he sounds like someone you would have definitely wanted to have with you in those terrible situations.
Such a complicated thing, isn’t it….the violent side of life and death….. The honor, the horror, the valor, and the inhumanity?
valzart Aww great memorial to an angel sweetheART ;}x happy hippy hugglez
Thank you, Val….Love seeing you!
wow ginger true hero of battle bill was ive read some books on the helicopter pilots and gunners and such in vietnam as my dad was there and he has stax of books on vietnam they where real legends them boys in the choppers like super legends Bill sounded a real champion bloke and s hello and hope your doin well Boing
You’re BOING???? I’m so glad to see you!!!!
name change was bored haglad to see you to mate hopes ya `all good
Virginia grew up trying to please and keep the peace.
She was a nervous little girl that was all arms and legs. She did the best she could, to organize the family to try to please. She cooked, if necessary, even at a young age. She ran useless interference in the almost constant, bickering and battles that raged in the family. There was the constant strain of no money, too many eccentric family members living too closely together and a father who found solace and bravery in a bottle and a pool hall. Her mother, was an overwhelmed, emotionally detached, or shut down, school teacher. Her innate mother instinct tried to protect her little brother, 8 years her junior with a penchant for getting on the wrong side of their father. All of this would be more than an adult should handle, yet this was Virginia's life.
Instead of playing with dolls, she was cooking and ironing, if she was lucky. When hot summer came, she was out in the fields hoeing from early to late.
She wasn't taught to think of herself, she was expected to put everyone ahead of her own welfare, her own desires and dreams.
She didn't know she could go to college, no one told her, even though she was smart. So when a local boy asked her to marry him at 17, she didn't know what to do, so she asked her mother. Even though he was a nice boy, she was so hoping that her mother would say no, that she would tell her she had to finish school first, but the answer was yes.
This boy, Clifton, was raised very different from her, and the difference was really uncomfortable for her. Things were suppose to be perfect. Things had to be done a certain way, and that isn't how these people were.
Three children came too fast with no money, and no help. Clifton was sweet, but totally unable to make a decent living. Resentment grew over the years. The same frustrations of no money, and always having to put herself last on the list. She never even had a babysitter to give her even the smallest break.
She got a job outside the home eventually, when the kids were in school. Then a tragedy hit that no mother can prepare for. One of the girl's, her baby, was killed in a car accident. It didn't help that she had not wanted to make the trip...in fact had so dreaded it that she was almost sick, and cried with dread. But went regardless, over her feelings, because that is how she was raised, put everyone else ahead of what she wanted.
She survived, she had two other little girls to see to. So she survived and loved her remaining daughters and kept working. But the marriage was over. The strain and hurt went too deep to keep pretending.
Virginia never realized her dreams. Partly because she was always just trying to survive. Her world now is revolving around one of her daughter's and her family. The other daughter is caught up in her own life, with problems of her own, trying to survive her own way. Virginia is adored by her daughter and son in law, her grandson and his wife, and her great granddaughter that thinks there is no one better than her "Gin". She's wanted and appreciated. She never ever feels good enough, or loved enough, or appreciated enough to fill that hole in her soul that was placed there by a missed childhood. That little girl is still in there, still believing that she isn't pretty, that she's too skinny, she's poor, and is never shown that she is cherished and adored. She didn't feel like a little princess, as her great granddaughter believes. She didn't feel that there was anyone who would fight for her. You just never get over that. The childhood of lack.
I would fight dragons for her. I wish with all my heart that she had found her prince. But all I can do, is love her with all my heart, and cherish every day that I have her in my life. Because if she'd been a weak woman, or a selfish woman, I would never have grown into the confident woman that I am today. I will never be able to tell her how much I appreciate what she has given me in my life.
Thank you, Mother for giving me what you never were given, unconditional love.
Yesterday, June 20, 2009, marked the 38Th anniversary of my youngest sister's death. 38 years, and it seems unbelievable in one way, and forever ago, as well.
When the clock and calender here in the office where I'm working clicked over, after midnight, it hit me and shocked me. I'd managed to forget that my sister was killed on Father's day when she was 11. But I'm not writing of her death, I've already done that.
I'm going to try to tell you who she was in life.
When you talk of the dead, they say, that you tend to forget their faults. I don't know if it's true or not, but at 11 years old, she really didn't have that many. She was the sweet one. Shelley won't be hurt by that, she just was. Shelley also said she was the pretty one...and she really was beautiful, but I had two beautiful sisters. I was really proud of both of them...they were so cute together, almost like twins.
Shelley was more of the minx, of the two. Penny just liked to be with her sister. Penny loved me, I know that, but she adored Shelley. They were inseparable. They were the ones that had the secrets, and the adventures. The whispered fun. I was usually the enemy. I was the older one, not really a part of them. I was too bossy. Being the oldest, I was always put in charge of them, made responsible for them, and most of the time I was OK, with it, but sometimes, I'd tire of being the one to get fussed at if they got hurt, or in trouble.
Penny was more of the peacemaker, she didn't want anyone to be angry. Shelley really didn't care about that...as long as they weren't bothering her, she was fine. Penny never thought twice about sharing....not so much Shelley. Shelley could tell if I just walked into her room.
Penny loved family as much as I did. She cared about everybody. My whole world changed, my whole future irrevocably altered when she left this world.
Ok, so Christopher & I went to this great wedding reception not too long ago...... Beautifully done...outdoors, lights, white linens, good food....her father's band, with a substitute for dad.....catered, wait staff....I love this sort of thing and it was done well.... The parents, Ronnie and Sonya, have been friends of mine for, oh, wow....32 years! Kasie is the gorgeous and unique bride...and has met and married a perfect match for her, Charlie....they are the perfect example of just "cool". They live in Atlanta.... Ronnie and Sonya are fabulous people.......Back in our young days, we did the club scenes, and party's together...Then, we all started having kids, and the party's slowed a bit.....They have stayed married, and apparently still in love for all these years...They started a business when the kids were young. It and they, struggled a bit over the years......Ronnie is creative and versatile......and neither were afraid of hard work.....the business grew and changed, and now affords them a really nice living, allowing a lot of the perks that go with it..... But what these two really accomplished were these two daughters, and one son. Shawn, the Atlanta artist, Kasie, and her sister Savannah.....Kasie's story, I'll tell at another time....this, is Savannah's story... Savannah is the baby....she was the most willful child we'd ever come across......Ronnie and Sonya were hilarious to watch as this absolutely gorgeous little angel would struggle at two to dress herself.....you better not help her.....to do so would start a loud and drawn out crying jag....we just let her do it herself...it was just better that way....Ok, so sometimes it was a Tee shirt with a tutu and mismatched socks...you just didn't want to go there.....yes, you look beautiful Savannah!!!! Independent....she was the word.......Ok, now Savannah is 24, so gorgeous you don't want to stop looking at her, and so smart you could talk to her for hours....She's had some struggles with her health which was scary, and caused great concern, but her stubborn nature and independence reigned....she never lets anything stop her.... I moved away from Tupelo, in 1988, to Atlanta, when the kids were small, so I missed so much of their lives.....which I regret ...I think it would have been amazing to watch them grow and change,....but let me show you how she turned out.....I have her website linked (hopefully) below this writing.....I'm also going to put it on my profile page....and I encourage you to have a look.... She lives and works in Kigali, Rwanda...The website is new.......she's still learning the ins and outs of it...but I think you will enjoy seeing what this very loving, beautiful, generous young woman is doing with her life..........I am really proud to be a little bit in her life.....and Savannah....if you ever read this....I love you and am so proud of you...... SavannahKeith http://www.savannahkeith.com/Site/Welcome.html
Phil has never been completely out of my life. He never will be, I'd be willing to bet. It's such a sad story.
Phil was my first love.(Love) That bittersweet memory, most folks have.
From a first kiss in a hot yellow mustang, parking in the moonlight, planning our lives together, dreaming, kissing, loving, and then the tragic, dramatic loss of our dreamed lives together...I've never let go of him. Nor he of me. Not completely.
Not an affair, nor anything close. Just a refusal to completely sever that connection, even though each has separate lives and loves.
Our life together was blown apart by our own naivety. Our pride. Youth.
Aries is a Cardinal Fire sign. As the first sign in the zodiac, and corresponding with the first day of spring, the Aries individual is a mover and shaker, fearlessly forging ahead into new territory.
The Aries personality is always a force to be reckoned with. These are curious and energetic individuals, always delving into new areas. Arians are forthcoming and direct. They don't generally have hidden agendas or ulterior motives.
Opinionated and often territorial about possessions. They will tell you like it is, according to their own inner truths, and will not feel bad about it later. These are the free birds of childhood, and they feel that they have the right to explore new territories unhindered, both physical and mental. Getting a kid like this to follow the rules may be a challenge. Even when young, all Arians are very competitive and cannot stand it if they do not come out on top. This "me first" attitude will be evident throughout life, and they often get what they want simply because of this unshakable attitude.
And this general profile of an Aries is so spot on with my long lost love. Both the reason why I felt so safe, and at times smothered.
The boy has now long been a man.
I haven't seen Phil in 12 years now. Almost 20 years prior to that. I do keep in touch through all of our modern ways, e-mail and such.
We know we made a mistake long ago. We both did. Phil, I think, has believed all these years that the loss of our relationship fell directly and completely on his shoulders, and it didn't. I wish I could repair the damage that I did to him, all those years ago. I wish he understood that if I'd been older, or wiser, I'd have forgiven him, as I certainly have now. It doesn't erase the error that was done. It doesn't give us back the life we could have had. It might have been wonderful, but again, we really can't know that. I pray for him, that he has a happy life. One free from guilt over a silly girl who couldn't forgive a good man a mistake. One stupid mistake. I should have known him better, I should have forgiven and let us go on to have that life we planned, but I was a stupid, arrogant, silly girl, with no experience and no way to understand...
He's still loyal and honest, and strong. He deserves to be happy...to have love and to feel respected.
You know a lot has happened to me in my life. I've been high and low but mostly in between.
I've been told that our life experiences make us who we are in the now, and that I'm not all that bad. I've had to learn patience, and humility, and love. I've had to learn to stop living in the past. To think positively and be greatful for what I have.
My first really adult lesson, good and bad, was taught by my first love, Phil.
It was, as they say, a simpler time.
I was just becoming aware of myself as a woman. Not really all that developed, I was a skinny girl, but the curves were beginning to show,and I was getting that restlessness, when a boy of 16 caught my eye one morning while I was on the bus to my Junior High School. Another girl pointed out a boy in a yard, not far from my house and told me she had a crush on this really cute older guy named, Phil....and there in the yard, he was. Dark, neat hair, huge brown eyes, and a great stocky build. Oh, yes, he was adorable. He was just getting into a hot yellow mustang with a black top....Wow, the guy even drove his own car!
I didn't know that he also went to my own church, and one day, we met, we made electric eye contact.
The first time he asked me out, he asked me to go to his sister's beauty review. I was so scared, this was my first date EVER and I wasn't even sure that Mom would let me go...but she did.
He picked me up, and off we went...just as we crossed a railroad track, he turned to me and said, "are you going to sit all the way over there?"...I was so embarassed, and shy, but I moved over (yes, it was bucket seats, but so what?). . . .and he kissed me.
Phil, was mostly the perfect boyfriend. He put up with the adolecent drama scenes that I produced, he protected me, he took me anywhere I wanted to go, and we sure did park ALOT. I adored him. He was with me through the horrible darkness after Penny died. We spent alot of time in church and with our church friends. As we grew together, we really considered ourselves married in our hearts. We bonded really strongly. We had songs that were ours, we looked at houses and dreamed. "I can't wait", was something we said often. I had, we had, our lives so planned out, right down to the little girl we wanted. But, we grew up, and something changed.
We set our date. I bought the dress, the invitations, made the rice bags and had the engagement photo made. I had questions one evening and thought nothing of jumping into my car and heading out to the college to see him. That night ruined everything. And it wasn't all Phil's fault.
He lived outside the campus in a student trailer park with 2 other friends of his. They were only too happy to tell me that he was in the trailer next door. Oh God, I don't think I'll ever forget that night. I think I threw my beautiful diamond ring away in the rocks, I just don't remember. I don't remember coming home...I know we argued, or talked or something, but I've mostly blocked it out.
I remember over the next few days, talking to Phil and finding out where his head was, and calmly explaining to my family that the wedding was off, and that Phil had felt overwhelmed at all the plans...and that he had met someone.
Ok, enough. Yes, it was awful, but let me tell you what I learned after all the anger, disappoinment, and blame went away, after all the bad decisions I made in the aftermath.
Phil, was just a great guy. He treated me wonderfully, even if he was somewhat possessive and jealous. He was mostly patient and calm with me..and I was a very dramatic and bossy girl. He gave the impression of having it all together...very down to earth, and assured. He was a bit silly for my benefit at times...strutting and preening, which looking back was extremely sweet and enduring. I was safe with him, but then again, that was part of the reason I came so completely apart in the aftermath. If I couldn't trust Phil, there was no reason to ever trust any man...if my Phil, my rock, could lie to me, then they all would...foolish girl.
Phil was young and beautiful. He had been dating one girl for 5 years and was about to commit to her for the rest of his life. He had a bit of rebel in him, and he had friends that whispered to him constantly that he was making a mistake. He loved me, but I was not easy. He loved his macho friends, and wanted to have fun, too. We were about to have what we'd always wanted, but the weight of was heavy. What if he was making a mistake? He was young.
Looking back at that young, vital, beautiful man, from my, now 53 years, it is not at all a surprise that he had that affair. It's not at all a surprise that he needed time to work all these things out before committing completely. It shouldn't have been so hard to forgive. But it hit me so hard. And I just couldn't.
I don't know if I'm a better person than I would have been. I've not enjoyed many parts of my life. Many years were really hard because I did not make good decisions. I had a really hard time getting my priorities straight and let's face it...my choices in men were awful.
I'm very happy now. I finally met someone that I could trust. Even we had a rough road for a while. But through all my bad decisions, and some deep self examination,I learned that you can lose something very special, and very precious by acting rashly and impulsively, and by trying to punish people instead of forgiving them.
A higher Being than I am admonished us to forgive. It's too bad that we cause ourselves and others so much heartache by not listening to that command. How much easier would it be, if we truly followed the commands of our God? The instant gratifications we choose, the "turn about is fair play" attitudes, the revenge we seek in retaliation for trampled hearts and desires all serve to cause so much damage in the long and short runs.
The only salvation in all of this, happens if we care enough to work through our shortcomings. If we finally look inward, as well as outward and learn to trust in Higher ideals. "Be Still and know that I am God".
Phil and I are not the first, nor the last couple to trash what should have been, by selfish and immature actions. That situation wasn't the last time I was rash, selfish, and careless. I had much to learn, and I chose the hard way.
Each second we are given is a blessing, a gift, a chance to do something special. If only we could "Be Still", for 5 minutes and look inward and listen to that Voice. We still can. We can start now.
I treasure my memories of mine and Phil's young wonderful romance. It was good and until the last, honest and loving. He helped me through some of the darkest times, he taught me many many wonderful lessons. I'm grateful to him and God for having him in my life so long ago.
Well, I didn't think I'd do it, but I've opened a new store online.
LOL. I don't have any idea if anything will come of any of this new activity of mine, but it's keeping me energized and getting my imagination reved up.
I'm 53. That is so strange to me. That Ginger could really be, not only a grown-up, but 53, middle aged.!!! But here I am, a bit overweight, achy, especially in the mornings, getting my energy from coffee, and coloring my hair...LOL...amazing.
Back to the store, Zazzle.com. Wow. I've designed dozens of products. Very ecclectic, as is my way. But, I like it. It's fun to be creative. It'll be even more fun if someone actually, finds my store, and likes what they see enough to buy...Wow...what a kick!!!
I don’t exactly know where I’m going with this, so you’ll have to bear with me as this unfolds. I was asked tonight, how many people I had watched die. This caught me off guard and I got emotional. This is not strange in one way, especially looking at it from some of your perspectives, since many of you, have not seen even one person slip from this world. It was part of my everyday world to watch people die for 10 years. I was the Patient Representative in the ER and it was I who took care of families of patients involved in trauma’s or life and death events such as strokes, MI’s and the like….or the simple slipping away of a person who’s body had worn out from time or disease. The answer to the question, "how many", can not be answered by me…..I sometimes saw 2 or 3 at a time through accidents…and older people die every day. Day after day and week after week you become accustomed to this event…..I’m not saying it was easy to be with families when they lost someone…..it certainly was not…but I am comfortable with my beliefs in an afterlife and the cycle of life. The person who dies is beyond any help that I or the family can give them, as far as I know….. But as this person finished with this question…...How many people have you seen die? I was overwhelmed by visions of people dying…....There are many who have stayed with me for all these years….maybe because it was peaceful…such as an elderly lady who had until a few hours prior to her arrival, been working in her flower bed…..I stood by the bedside with her two daughters, listening to stories they needed to tell of their mother, her kindness, and how much she loved her flowers, while she quietly slipped away.. The very first one was a kid, a teenager who was on the verge of graduation from high school His father, who was an EMR had taken him to pick up the surprise graduation gift, a beautiful used motorcycle…..The kid eagarly jumped on and headed back toward home with his father in the car right behind him…They were anxious to get home and tinker with it the way father and son will…...Somehow, the son didn’t see the logging truck and went under the wheel….......We heard the father on the radio calling for the helicopter to please get there quickly, but it was much much too late….The boy died in his fathers arms while Mother, who was also an EMR listened helplessly to every word on their scanner at home…. Some are so horrifying, as a woman, I can’t wrap my head around it…...I thought the EMTs had brought in a doll…..That’s what she looked like….a beautiful small doll….but that wasn’t it….it was a baby….a mother had been having a party at her house…the baby was crying so she put it in the car seat….in the garage…..with the car running…...then went to sleep….. Some, are so ….. dramatic….one of the deaths was a young African American man who died of a stroke….he had about 60 friends and family waiting with me in the family rooms…..I was nervous anyway, because there were so many people and I was new…...They were understandably anxious, upset, and demanding information that for the moment no one had….but the Doctor that day was a very matter of fact, no nonsense man who came back to the room and sat down, and simply blurted out to all of these folks…..He’s gone….He’s dead…......... I was totally unprepared for what happened next….Everyone hit the floor…..I mean I looked around and they were dropping like flies........I don’t know how long I stood there, but when I came to my senses, I ran from person to person asking uselessly, are you Ok? I looked back and the Doctor was still sitting on his chair with his legs crossed calmly watching me in my panic, trying to help those with their own panic…..Then he calmly got up, and walked over first one and then another, of the writhing sea of family….leaving me to grab wash cloths and ice and try to calm them as best as I could…. I was there when a woman came in shot in the belly…..as she was dying, she talked to her husband….it became apparent that he was the one who shot her…. An elderly man was dying a very slow death from cancer and decided to end it with a gun…....His wife of over 50 years tried to take it away from him. They struggled, but he succeeded and was mortally wounded when he arrived with us…..His wife, who had loved him for so long, now struggled with an event and an image which would overshadow any and all of her former good memories of her life with him….she would always come back to that moment, as she sat there silently crying, I washed the blood from her face and hands with wash cloths. The very same night in another part of the ER another husband and wife were holding hands…...as I took her up to intensive care where her husband would die later that night, she told me how he was her first and only love and how hard it was to say goodbye to your whole world…...but I wanted to hug her, which I did, but I couldn’t tell her how lucky she was to be able to sweetly kiss the man you love goodbye and still keep all the wonderful memories without the tarnish. This night always stayed with me because of the tragic contrast…..Maybe because I was meant to tell this story one day. I could go on and parts of me want to, maybe to release these ghosts forever, but I’ll do it another day…..So to that person who ask me how many….I don’t know….
They don’t always go together, but if you do have white hair….even under the dye job….you surely have had a tribulation or two. How have you handled that? I’ve had my share…....and two or three other’s share, in my opinion. But my troubles have come and gone…I have very few now. (other than my divorced parents are both going to be living with me) sigh…..... I have a friend that I truly truly respect and adore. He brings wisdom and humor to all of us. He loves us….(remember that journal I did on cyber relationships?) He doubts his worth sometimes. He says that that is what happens when you are raised being told you’re an idiot. I understand….not from personal experience, I was one of the lucky ones in that respect. But I have several friends that through things that happened as children they don’t realize how beautiful they are…how much they bring to not just my world, but to many many many others. I believe that all people are Spirit. I believe that when God looks at us, what he sees are the lights that are our souls. I believe that your light can be gloriously bright…like Sally, Christopher, Max, Amanda, Isa, Trena, Lisa, Tara, J.D., Bill, Kevin, Wendy X2, Georgie, Cazzie, Kasey, Kelly, Snappy, Hilary,Jan, Val, and so so many other’s …......or you can barely see it. Some of these I’ve mentioned, have impacted me personally, and some are impacting hundreds of others daily,with wisdom, love, encouragement. They have extremely bright lights. Some of them have illnesses you know about, some have illnesses you don’t….some have heartaches so strong I can feel them through the screen…...but they and many I’ve not mentioned make a difference….They put their problems to the side and help you and me. For all of you…..I’m not the only one who loves you…..I’m not the only one who is grateful to know you. Those of you with Trials & Tribulations….with or without the white hair….we know, and we care, and we truly pray for you. For all of our Aussie friends…our hearts are broken by these bush fires…feel free to post links.
Robert Elliott Gee ginger, I have so many feelings but so few words to express my thoughts after reading this. It’s so true, thank you
Ginger Barritt replied I’m glad I struck a chord….This is a very tight community….we care deeply for our virtual friends…..Maybe I’ll be fortunate enough to meet a few of you someday….. Add your comment as a reply to Ginger Barritt
poupoune Robert said it all!!!Someday we’ll bring as many bbholics as possible in one place … that should be fun!Cheers for all your bright humour and way to get us to show the most embarassing piccies of us without the fear of being laughed at (but laughing with)! Add your comment as a reply to poupoune
Christopher Bi... ok pass the kleenex! LOVE YOU SIS….X Add your comment as a reply to Christopher Birtwistle-Smith
Ginger Barritt replied Aaahhhhh….Love you….. Add your comment as a reply to Ginger Barritt
Sally Omar Ginger, Your words touched my heart…and yes I also need Kleenex…LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!Hugs, Sally xoxoxoxoxoxox
Ginger Barritt replied I know it may not seem so, but I love you and think of you always….I pray for you and your beautiful husband who inspires so many incredible, emotional poems…..You are an amazing, strong…very beautiful, glowing light….. Add your comment as a reply to Ginger Barritt
Matt Penfold Good on ya’ Ginge You’re a real treasure. you make a difference too :-) Add your comment as a reply to Matt Penfold
Ginger Barritt replied Poo….But thank you…You know me…I just have to say what I feel at the time!!! You’re sweet! Add your comment as a reply to Ginger Barritt
valzart Aww I’m crying sweetheART tears rollin’ down my face ..your such a bright star…. I’m going to dedicate my latest creation to you ‘Starshine’ luffs ya 4ever ;} happy hippy hugglez
Ginger Barritt replied Oh, Sweetie…My point was all of YOU. Add your comment as a reply to Ginger Barritt
amanda marx what a delight you are sweet G . . . gorgeous words from a gorgeous girl . . . words & a heart that touches so many across the ether . . . xXx Add your comment as a reply to amanda marx
Ginger Barritt replied And You are our Glammer Girl….So beautiful…so fun!!! Add your comment as a reply to Ginger Barritt
Gili Orr You are quite a bright light yourself;-) glad to have bumped into you (or did I say it wrongly? Guess so, but who cares…) Add your comment as a reply to Gili Orr
Ginger Barritt replied Nope you did not say it wrong!!! Love you too, Gili ! Add your comment as a reply to Ginger Barritt
Isa Rodriguez what a gal.. its kleenex time.. sheesh.. hugs ya darling.. xxxxx there is so much light here.. you shine.. and I hear you .. these bubblers and so many others.. amazing how right through that screen.. i hear you . Add your comment as a reply to Isa Rodriguez
Ginger Barritt replied SMOOCH pretty girl! Add your comment as a reply to Ginger Barritt
jadeast Wut tu sai yu havn’t alredy sed? knot much! I no jadeast will taek credut fur this but I luv yu too! Sory I didn’t maek yur list, but that won’t dim my lite! Cromagnans don’t cry much but then weev seen it all! Grate peec Ginger !!it’s tyme cave men got sum recognishun arownd heer!Hary C Romagnan Add your comment as a reply to jadeast
Ginger Barritt replied Sorry you got left off Hary…Total oversight…I adore you, too…Tell J.D. I missed him last night….I’ll be back tonight…maybe I’ll see you both then!!!!! Add your comment as a reply to Ginger Barritt
funkyfacestudio That was wonderful Ginger. It really is a tight community and I always feel a real connection to my bubble friends…...The trial, tribulations, joys and bright lights….......thanks for sharing your light and humor ginger. ps. I’m not telling about gray hair or dye ok shhh Add your comment as a reply to funkyfacestudio
Ginger Barritt replied Your secret is just between you and me!!!! Add your comment as a reply to Ginger Barritt
DoreenPhillips Ginger you have such a way with words an understanding of feelings ,a gift of putting thatem on paper or screen…x…Dont ever stop….x…..I would buy your Book!!!!....x….I love every minute oon RB and I will not be leaving this community of Wondrous souls that I call Family….x…..One word to someone can change someones Life…x…And you have helped to do that…x….Prescious and Positive ….Thats what you are…x. Add your comment as a reply to DoreenPhillips
Ginger Barritt replied What an incredible thing to say to me…Doreen…so many people are hurting, from emotional pain, to disease. If you say that I help even one….that overwhelms me…Thank youl. Add your comment as a reply to Ginger Barritt
SharonD That’s beautiful Ginger. Add your comment as a reply to SharonD
Ginger Barritt replied And that is sweet of you, Sharon! Add your comment as a reply to Ginger Barritt
jansnow Oh Ginger, you bring tears to my eyes! You are such a special light in so my hearts, you truly have the gift of emotional healing:-) I love you, treasure your friendship, and honor all that you are!! Add your comment as a reply to jansnow
Ginger Barritt replied Oh, my Jan…You’re being too generous….I treasure our friendship more than you know…more than I can show… Add your comment as a reply to Ginger Barritt
Jayne Logan Truly wonderful words. beautiful, Ginger .. Add your comment as a reply to Jayne Logan
I'm sitting here listening to a country song playing on the radio. It's called "Back when I knew it all". I can't remember who the artist is, but I can relate to this song so well.
When I was young, I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted to marry my boyfriend, Phil, and live happily ever after. I never had the ambition a lot of my friends , of going to college and having careers. I always wanted to have a family, several kids, and be the MOM. I love the idea of the word MOM.
Maybe I was influenced too much, by the 60's idea of what a mom was suppose to be. Unrealistic expectations, is what I think they call it now. I suppose it is. I know that it never was in the cards for me to have it.
My boyfriend was the stable, feet on the ground, church on Sunday, type of guy. I was a bit more wild, but I was ready and happy to make that leap from being a girl to having a husband when I was 19. We planned to live together in our college town and play house. When he graduated, I thought that our life would really begin. I just expected to be that stay at home wife who gardened, and took care of the house, meals and husband. But, none of it happened. Phil, got cold feet and had a last fling, and I found out about it and just couldn't get past it. We were kids. I didn't realize why he did it. I couldn't, I didn't have the maturity, or the background for it. I felt betrayed to my core. It shocked and rocked me. I ran.
From that point on, I did almost everything wrong. I didn't go to school, I didn't pursue a career, and I picked all the wrong guys. I guess I figured that if the "good" one could cheat, I may as well choose a wild one that I knew would. Or, maybe, I didn't think at all.
I always wanted to be serene. Calm and helpful. Sweet and peaceful... Ha! None of that was ever in the realm of possibility for several reasons. It just wasn't in my genes, background, or maturity level.
I married eventually, a sweet, but damaged man. Had a wonderful, brilliant, creative and talented son. I love him to distraction, but I had to leave his father when he was 11. The bad choices just continued.
I finally met the man I could love completely when I was 40. But it was too late, by then, to be a real Mom to my son. He was rebellous, being a teen, bored, angry about so many things. So my loving, serene idea of being a mom, was never realized. Mom, for me, meant trying desperately to get my angry son to do homework, stop skipping school, smoking and "hanging out" with the wrong kids. He ended his school career by dropping out and taking his GED. He married when he was 19 and I was frantic. I couldn't get through to him the importance of education. He nor his beautiful wife seemed to understand, seeming to have unrealistic expectation of what their life would be.
Through the last 10 years, I've finally grown some. I've managed to mature a little, thankfully. Enough that I realize how lucky I am now. I'm safe, I'm loved. My son matured faster than I did, becoming a very loving father and husband. He got a degree in computer networking and solved the problem of expensive school, by joining the National Guard full time. Now, he'll pursue education as far as he wishes. He's determined, focused, loving and driven. He has done all this, in spite of not being raised by Beaver Cleaver's, mom. His daughter is a very happy little girl. She's being raised so differently than my son was. Stable and safe. She is so secure and happy.
There is a part of me that will always miss what I didn't have. That life with my first Love, Phil. We talked so much of how it would be...it's almost like a hardwired program that crashed. The horses, the home, the little girl.... sigh. Hearing some old songs can still throw me into tears...The old song, "Wouldn't it be nice"..."Brown-eyed girl", anything by Led Zeplin, Bread, Three dog night....and I'm right back to being 16, breathless, adventurous, longing, with a beautiful future mapped out.....
I have been so, lucky. God has been so good to me, in spite of all my mistakes. I get to be a great grandmother, a loving wife, and a mom....not June Cleaver, but Ginger Barritt, instead, a loving Mom in spite of myself.
Sister...Shelley is my sister, my only sister now. Shelley is an enigma to me. A chinese puzzle box.
She's funny... she's really funny....
She really is funny. When we do find the time to see each other, she cracks me up with her irreverent humor.
She usually pulls no punches. She's no powderpuff. If you want to dance around the bush, you're in the wrong place.
She reads constantly. Loves the romance novels.... (we call them her "porn" !!!)
No one can say she isn't materialistic. To make her happy, send her a dollar or two....Of course, it'll go to books.
Oh, and you should see her Mustang ...WOW. That Mustang says alot about her... She ain't no typical Granny!!!!
But she does have her soft side.....
She adores children, and they her. My granddaughter loves her Aunt Shell.
She's fiercely devoted to her children and grandchildren. She adores her kids. She won't bake them cookies......she's not that kind of Granny. I think her poor husband has to take her out every night....But protective of her kids? Hurt one of them? You don't want to do that....when she turns bright red....I think it's time to run. Think..........oh, tasmanian devil comes to mind. LOL...
She reminds me of M&M's. Hard on the outside, soft and sweet on the inside. She doesn't like to show that side. I know she loves me, and her parents. I wish I understood her better. I crave the closeness the word sister means to me. I truly crave it.
The above things are the things I do know about her. I know a few more things, some good, some painful.... but I love her fiercely. I would defend her with my bare hands. But I don't know her day to day life anymore.
When you grow up, and have separate families, with very different interests, I guess it's bound to happen. I think it may be time for a big family get together...I think I'll call my funny, M&M sister.....
